Living in Full Color: Mastering Your Emotions, Faith, and Gratitude
You have started the journey. You have learned to Acknowledge who you are, Believe the best about yourself, and Consider your consequences like a scientist. These are the foundational pillars of self-love. Now, it is time to build upon them, to move from rebuilding your inner world to truly thriving in it. This final guide will explore the more nuanced arts of managing drama, mastering your emotions, cultivating unshakeable faith, and living with profound gratitude. This is how you learn to live your life in full color.
Step D & E - Distancing Drama and Tending Your Emotional Garden
Life is full of drama, but you do not have to be consumed by it. Step D is to Distance yourself from drama by becoming a Spectator at your own life’s play. When you are in a difficult situation, mentally step back into the audience. From there, you can see the bigger picture: the other "players" on the stage, their possible motivations, and the fact that most of the time, their actions are not about you. This perspective diffuses the emotional charge and gives you clarity.
Once you have some distance, you can move to Step E: Expressing your emotions with accuracy. For this, become a Master Gardener of your inner world. Your emotional life should not be a barren landscape with only two options: happy or sad. It should be a vibrant garden, full of variety. Learning to name your feelings with more precision is key. Are you just "mad," or are you feeling irritable, provoked, or offended? Naming an emotion accurately is the first step to understanding and managing it, allowing you to cultivate a rich and beautiful emotional life.
Step F - Feeling Faith: How to Conduct the Symphony of Your Life
Step F is to Feel Faith moving forward. This is not a passive hope, but an active trust in your future, built upon the resilience you have already shown. To embody this, step into the persona of the Conductor. You are the conductor of your life’s symphony. You guide all the different sections, the soaring triumphs (trumpets) and the deep sorrows (cellos), knowing each has a vital part to play in the magnificent piece that is your life. You direct the flow with purpose and vision.
A crucial part of conducting your life with faith is managing your "thought diet." Just as your body is built from the food you eat, your mind is built from the thoughts you consume. Feed yourself a steady diet of empowering, hopeful, and kind words. This is what builds the strength to move forward, even when the path is uncertain. It allows you to trust that the magic of life is at work, and that you have the capacity to handle whatever comes next.
The Power of Forgiveness: Releasing the Past to Embrace Your Future
You cannot move forward with faith if you are chained to the grievances of the past. Forgiveness, of both yourself and others, is a functional prerequisite for faith. Unforgiveness is backward looking; faith is forward looking. To truly feel faith, you must consciously release the emotional weight of past hurts.
This process can be messy. Sometimes, to untangle a tight knot, you first have to pull it apart and make it look like a bigger mess. This allows you to see the individual tangles and work on them one by one. Do not be afraid to look at old wounds. Acknowledge the pain, believe you can heal, consider the factors involved, and distance yourself to see the situation with compassion. This is how you unravel the knots of resentment and free yourself to move forward with a lighter heart.
Step G - Give Gratitude: Finding Joy in Your Journey's "Fleas"
The final, culminating step is G: Give Gratitude. This is the practice that ties everything together and fills your life with joy. For this, imagine yourself as YOU at a grand banquet at the end of a long, rich life. You look back with profound appreciation for every single person and experience, both good and bad, that shaped you into the person you became.
It is easy to be grateful for the good things, but the deepest growth comes from learning to be grateful for the "fleas." This comes from the story of Corrie Ten Boom, who, while in a concentration camp, was encouraged by her sister to thank God for everything, even the flea infestation in their barracks. She resisted, but did so. Later, they learned the guards refused to enter their room because of the fleas, which allowed them to hold secret worship services that brought hope to many. There is a blessing hidden in your greatest challenges, and gratitude is the key that unlocks it.
Your Path Forward: Keeping the Love Alive Every Day
The journey of self-love is a lifelong adventure, not a destination you arrive at. These seven steps are not a checklist to be completed once, but a toolkit to use for the rest of your life. Life is messy, and you will find yourself moving back and forth between these steps as you face new challenges and reach new levels of growth.
Use the power of visualization to blaze new trails in your mind. When you mentally rehearse a new, positive reaction to a familiar trigger, you are creating a new neural pathway. The more you walk this new path in your imagination, the more automatic it will become in real life. You are the author of your own story. Keep writing a beautiful one, filled with compassion, courage, and a deep, abiding love for the amazing person you are.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I manage my emotions without just suppressing them?
Think like a "Master Gardener." Instead of ignoring your feelings, get curious about them. Expand your emotional vocabulary to identify them with more accuracy. This allows you to understand what you are feeling and why, giving you the power to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.
What do I do when I feel regret about past mistakes?
Adopt the mindset of a "Conductor." Acknowledge that the past notes have already been played and are part of your life's symphony. Then, reframe the experience. The author realized she could not have written her book 20 years ago because the lessons from those 20 years were essential to the final product. Your past mistakes were necessary preparation for the person you are today.
How can I possibly be grateful for the worst things that have happened to me?
This is about finding the "fleas." Like Corrie Ten Boom, you can look for the unexpected protection or lesson that came from a difficult situation. Gratitude for hard times is not about liking what happened; it is about recognizing that you survived, you learned, and you are stronger because of it. It is a choice to find the blessing in the burden.
Is it selfish to focus so much on loving myself?
No. The book's central philosophy is that you can only love others as you love yourself. Filling your own well of love does not take away from others; it gives you more to offer. When you operate from a place of self-love and fullness, your relationships become healthier and more generous.
What is the most important takeaway from the ABCDEFG method?
The most important takeaway is that you have the power to change your inner world. These steps provide a practical, repeatable framework for taking control of your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. It is a journey of reclaiming your agency and consciously creating a life of joy and purpose from the inside out.